Untitled again

I captured your voice in my phone,
I froze your face in a picture.
I locked my memories away,
To keep them safe.
To keep them safe.

I recorded your laughter in my mind,
I play it back from time to time.
I close my eyes and see your smile.
That…I will keep sacred for a while.

“Hi Pumpkin” I sometimes hear you say in the darkness,
In the quiet of my mind.
What happened to all our time?
To all our planning?

Where can I go to find you again?
To the ends of the earth?
I will go there if it meant you were there.

To see you again
To hug you like I used to.
I want so much to hug you,
To kiss you.
To tell you all the things I should have,
But never could.

I kept secrets,
How I love my secrets.
But now you know mom…
You can see my heart.

Forgive me mom,
For those secrets.

What happened?
What happened?
I know what happened,
But why?

I look around  
you’re everywhere
yet you’re not there.

All the things you’ll miss…
All these things will never matter
Now that you’re not here to care.
To see your dreams come true,
To see your daughters grow.
To give advice
To listen.

I swore one day to make you proud.
I don’t know if I can now.

What am I supposed to do without you?
How am I supposed to get on?

All the things you’ll miss.
All the things we’ll miss together.

I’m sorry that you couldn’t stay.
I love you,
I’ll love you forever.
Rest in peace my angel.